Toaster Face
by eerosama
Summary: A tale of passion between a pop diva and her kitchen appliance.


The economy was tough. Especially for rusty, unwanted appliances. Old man Jenkins's Household Utilities was going under. He had to have a clearance sale. Everything must go.

No one stopped by. He was starting to become desperate. Just then, a young gentleman was strolling down the sidewalk outside. He grabbed any old appliance, threw open the front door, and rushed him.

"Hello sir," the old man said feebly. "I bet a man like you would love to have this…"

Jenkins had to look down to check what he grabbed. It was a toaster, plain and silver. Quite dusty and slightly rusted, but for the most part, still functional.

"…this vintage toaster!" Jenkins exclaimed.  
"I'm sorry sir, but I'm just not interested. I have no use for this."  
"Please sir. I'm an old man. These are my last years. I just want enough for me to eat tonight."  
"Weeellll… Okay. How much?"  
"$10.50"  
"$10 even."  
"Deal."

And so this toaster was traded to the dashing young man. The money was paid, and the gentleman went home.

"Hi honey, how was your day?"  
"It was great, my Gaga. Look! I bought this retro toaster. We can put it on the mantle."  
"Oh that's faaaabulous dahhling." said Stefani, in her most refined British tone. "It shall be a symbol of our lahve."

And so it was. Months passed and it was time for another one of Stefani's tours. Her fans were among the most loyal on earth. Lady Gaga was practically a household name nowadays, and she loved the attention, but sometimes she wanted more.

She was in her dressing room on her tour bus, putting on her makeup. She was practicing the new song she was to debut at the next show, and all was going smoothly, but suddenly she felt a presence in the room. She heard a shuffle.

"Hello?" Gaga asked. "Is somebody there?"

Stefani was getting a little paranoid. One of her psychotic fans might've gotten into her room again. But no, this was a more muffled shuffle. She was listening closely, trying to pinpoint the source of the shuffling. It was coming from one of her suitcases!

Gaga approached cautiously, flipped the latches, and slowly opened the lid… It was the toaster her boyfriend bought for her! But there wasn't anything out of the ordinary about it…

She picked up the toaster and inspected it. She was feeling it around when suddenly…  
"That tickles!"

"Augh!" Gaga screamed as she threw the toaster to the floor and backed up against the door. "Who are you?!"

"I'm the brave little toaster!"

"Well, then… I suppose I can deal with that."

She picked up the toaster again. Her fingers titillated the little appliance.

"I'm a big fan, Ms. Gaga" the toaster quickly said. His cheeks were blushing.

Gaga could feel the heat eminating from his coils. He was obviously infatuated with her. And, having been so alone and been away from her boyfriend for so long, she figured this appliance could be used more than just for toasting bread.

Without a word, she pressed the front of the rusty toaster up against her lips. She slipped her tongue into the space intended for the lever's movement. The toaster couldn't believe what was going on, he was making out with one of the most famous popstars on earth.

Gaga took the brave little toaster's plug and plugged it into her "outlet". She moaned in sweet ecstacy, feeling the toasters electrical pulses, stimulating her body with every little shock.

"STOP! NO MORE!" Gaga moaned. She unplugged her love toy from her socket. Then suddenly, two thick, sweating, pulsating disco sticks emerged from her burning lady lips.

"My baby toaster," cried Gaga, "I want to make some bad romance with you."

She turned the toaster so its heated bread slots were facing her. She put her stunnin muffins into the holes of the toaster and was shocked… With pleasure.

The electric pulsations were churning the flesh of her penises with a spiralling grip. Gaga could feel the shocks coursing through her veins. She was in an electric heaven. But God had other plans and ejected her from this heaven.

The toaster's heated coils sprang due to the electric discharge and shot up her urethras. The pain was excruciating and yet immensely pleasurable. Blood dripped as her penises were mutilated by the steel coils. These coils reached into her sack and impaled her testicles like a burning fork through a hard boiled egg. The ecstasy was too much for her and she proceeded to shit upon the carpet. The brown river flowed everywhere within a three foot radius. Gaga and the toaster rolled in her puddle of excrement, completely coating themselves in a layer of her chunky ass sauce. Gaga's screams carried on through the night.

It was the next morning. Gaga and the toaster slept on the floor of the bus. She awoke sleepily and walked into the bathroom for a shower. After turning the faucet, she stepped inside. Little did Gaga know, this would be her last shower. The brave little toaster was still riding on her morning woods. And this toaster was still connected into the outlet in the main portion of the room. The paparazzi discovered Lady Gaga in a bath tub, covered in feces, with a rusted toaster between her legs.


End file.
